A New Dope

OK, OK, Iisten to me. It's not that complex. The oldest movie is Episode 4. Then Episodes 5 and 6 came out. Then a couple decades later we got the first 3 Episodes, which are also the prequels. What? They just are. Now we have 3 sequels: Episodes 7-9. No, really, it makes sense.

Allow me to simplify even further: Episodes 4-6 were the OGs, with Episode 5 being hands down the best one. Episodes 1-3 used to suck, but not so much now with memes compared to the trainwreck dumpster fire that is Episodes 7-9. What were they thinking when they made the sequels?

They weren't thinking, that's what. Seat of the pants, plot-hole-laden storytelling garbled with illogical character motivations and apologetic retconning. What a mess. What a potential wasted. And now that she's passed away, we'll never get to see it done right.

"Ma'am." The walls fall out of color. "Ma'am?" My eyes find a face. He looks familiar. "Yes? Do I know you?" He grunts and itches his mustache. The other smirks at me across the table. I don't like it. I pick at my nails, though the nurses told me not to. "Let's try again..."

“Who were you with last Thursday night?” “I… I don’t remember”. I really didn’t remember. I tugged at a hangnail on my left thumb, pinching it between my right thumb and pointer finger nails. The nurses standing on both sides of me grabbed my wrists and held them down.

Little did they know the hangnail had been a diversion to distract them while I pressed the button on my wrist watch-alerting the swat unit to enter the premises. Before long the nurses were detained, and there was no need answers any more questions. On my part, at least.