A New Dope

The Return of the Lazer Brains

22 September 2022

  • OK, OK, Iisten to me. It's not that complex. The oldest movie is Episode 4. Then Episodes 5 and 6 came out. Then a couple decades later we got the first 3 Episodes, which are also the prequels. What? They just are. Now we have 3 sequels: Episodes 7-9. No, really, it makes sense.
    Sean K avatarSean K7/25 2:33pm
  • Allow me to simplify even further: Episodes 4-6 were the OGs, with Episode 5 being hands down the best one. Episodes 1-3 used to suck, but not so much now with memes compared to the trainwreck dumpster fire that is Episodes 7-9. What were they thinking when they made the sequels?
    Jacob S avatarJacob S7/28 3:50am
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  • They weren't thinking, that's what. Seat of the pants, plot-hole-laden storytelling garbled with illogical character motivations and apologetic retconning. What a mess. What a potential wasted. And now that she's passed away, we'll never get to see it done right.
    Benjamin C avatarBenjamin C7/29 9:52pm
  • "Ma'am." The walls fall out of color. "Ma'am?" My eyes find a face. He looks familiar. "Yes? Do I know you?" He grunts and itches his mustache. The other smirks at me across the table. I don't like it. I pick at my nails, though the nurses told me not to. "Let's try again..."
    Pennywise avatarPennywise9/7 6:46pm
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  • “Who were you with last Thursday night?” “I… I don’t remember”. I really didn’t remember. I tugged at a hangnail on my left thumb, pinching it between my right thumb and pointer finger nails. The nurses standing on both sides of me grabbed my wrists and held them down.
    C J9/18 8:41pm
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  • Little did they know the hangnail had been a diversion to distract them while I pressed the button on my wrist watch-alerting the swat unit to enter the premises. Before long the nurses were detained, and there was no need answers any more questions. On my part, at least.
    Rietje B avatarRietje B9/22 10:05pm
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The End