On Second Thought, Let’s Just Eat Them

The men are afraid to ask you but “Do you not crave blood sir” ? Listen well lieutenant, I take no pleasure in feeding. All things must end but I take no pleasure in being humanities executioner. Now be done and let’s move on to the capital. We have a castle to take by sun up.

Eh? What's that? No, how barbaric! When I did feed on human blood of course I got it from donations in hospitals like any civilized vampire soldier. Lieutenant, we are members of the great empire! Not barbarians. There. You see those battlements? That's the human castle we have

to conquer. But we’re not going to do it by force and with bloodshed and weapons.” I stopped to take a breath, realizing my speech had become rather long-winded. “We live in shadows,” I continued. “So we wait until it’s dark and creep inside through the shadows. No confrontation,

no killing. We are going to sneak in while they sleep and make them fear one another more than they fear us,” I told them as I gestured to the taxidermy wolf near the hearth. “Take its foot,” I instructed Davin, as I went to fill a wine skin with hogs blood.

But getting the hog's blood turned out to be harder than I anticipated. Hogs are insanely heavy, and one of them got me pinned against the fence for a worrisome few minutes - precious time lost. In the end, I freed myself and managed to catch a piglet for my purposes.

This piglet was plump, and just the right size to become the last ingredient in my spell. It squealed as I drew my knife across its throat, letting the hog’s blood flow into the specially prepared golden bowl. “With this blood, I command you: Appear!” A demon with horns smiled.