Unrocking the Timelock

Robert didn't like the rock at first because it was turning him off.

Robert was a light bulb and the anthropomorphic rock kept turning him off by shutting off his light switch ten minutes after anyone turned it on. Robert hated being off. He wanted to shine brightly. That sneaky living rock kept ruining his life. He wanted revenge on the rock.

Robert knew that as a lightbulb he shouldn’t be having these hateful thoughts. Heck, he shouldn’t be having any thoughts. But beyond his smooth glass surface, the little globe burned with a single raging question: how could the Rock be taken down?

Time travel was the answer: go back in time and sabotage The Rock’s first acting role, forcing him to remain a wrestler. Robert set the controls for Paramount studio Studios in the 1990’s, where they were filming Star Trek: Voyager.

BOOM, the year 2000. He ducked around to Ryan’s trailer and changed his signed photo to read “The Rock smells your perfume.” Then he froze time mid fight and wrote “UPN sucks butt!” under The Rock’s nipple strap. Then he cut it to snap under his next smolder. “That should do it!”