John Knauss

Raj Chaklashiya

Keith Farquhar

English

Paul was confused. Often. But today he was confused because of the oatmeal. 

He lifted his spoon and turned it over slowly, watching the sludge roll and drop into the ceramic bowl. 

Yup. This was definitely not oatmeal.

The oatmeal was offended by the often-confused Paul. Paul was saying that the oatmeal was not oatmeal because it was sludgy. The offended oatmeal spoke: "I AM oatmeal. The reason why I am sludgy is because I am living oatmeal." Now Paul was even more confused. What the hell?

But just then the oatmeal spoke again: “Although I am sludgy and I am oatmeal, that is not ACTUALLY what I am. What I actually am is a culture of microorganisms living within the oatmeal that have become sentient and advanced to be able to communicate.” Paul's confusion increased

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