The Power of the Force, Buyers Remorse, & the Ballad of Bella's Tears

Four days until Bella's birthday & Zach still didn't know what to get her. He stood in the Kohl's foyer & took a breath. He would go into the store, eyes closed, take 20 steps, reach out with his left hand, & purchase whatever he first touched. Twenty blind steps later, he held a

hand in front of him. Then he felt it. A slight tingling on his fingertips, why it’s… it’s… the Force! He’s felt the Force! Smack! Zach opened his eyes to see a Jedi Master taunting him with a leaf. In a Kohl’s. Four days until Bella’s birthday. Guess he’ll go purchase that leaf.

See, it was no ordinary leaf. It was a prank leaf. When her birthday came, Zach tried it on Bella. She was utterly convinced she was a Jedi, then smack! She slapped him in the face, then broke down crying. Not because he did a prank or anything, but because— “The sequels sucked.”

Sequels, prequels, top of the pops, soul train, solid gold dancers by your side. Of course you lip sync, everyone does. Just remember which song you’re “singing”: The Ballad of Bella’s Tears. The kids love it!