What the Duck

Barry, or Bazza to his mates, was a duck. An actual duck. The beak, the feathers and the webbed feet. His favourite activities were digging holes, swimming and bringing untimely demises to worms. Unlike more ducks, Barry had a secret.

Barry the duck was not really a duck at all. Yes, maybe his external appearance was certainly duck-like in nature. He walked like a duck, he talked like a duck, but no - Barry was not actually a duck. What was Barry then, if not a duck? Well... Barry couldn't really say for sure.

As Barry was growing up, he started to feel that 'duck' was just a label - something that had been grafted onto him by others. Just because he had a bill, webbed feet and a propensity for quacking, SOCIETY had made assumptions about his identity. Barry hated being called a duck.

And yet, here he was, sticking out like a sore thumb in this wretched Yearly Duck Convention. And why? Because Jen asked him - and as much as Barry hated being a duck, he was in love with Jen. He'd dive into a duck-filled pond for them. And that's just what he did.

Many people have complained about the ethics of the annual duck dive, citing countless papers on how it was in fact abusive to the ducks, an invasion of their delicate native ecosystems, or financially irresponsible. The DuckCon organisers, in response, called them all 'quacks'.

But even the duck activists and environmental scientists could not begin to fathom the true depths of DuckCon's sinister agenda. The organizers of the duck dive had another purpose. For long ago, in the secret recesses of duck territory, they had discovered a place of dark power.

In this place, the power of every waterfowl could be unlocked. A duck could enter the cavern and leave more graceful than any swan and more vicious than any goose. The organizers of DuckCon felt that the ducks had been maligned for too long, and it was time for them to take over.

They gather all the boss ducks and set up a meeting to discuss what they can do to take over. Could and should they use DuckCon as a front for the bigger scheme of things, or should they go about a more direct approach?

The various duck lords debated for hours before a conclusion was drawn. Turns out, it's almost impossible --unheard of even-- for a bunch of ducks, to agree on anything. Especially winning with a two-thirds majority! Their decision? They would twist DuckCon to their evil deeds...

What they weren’t counting on was Barry. Barry the Duck, that knew he wasn’t a duck. In his heart he was a Swan. The exact fowl which could stop the evil plan. Tune in next week for a brand new episode of ‘What the Duck!’