Nobody Told Me: "Donut Hunt Monsters"

"So. How are you going to deal with it?" The hooded figure sat next to me on my tombstone, holding a cigar in its skeletal fingers. The smoke extended to curl over the mounds of my family members and friends that came after mine, casting a shadow over their causes of death. "I...

"... don't know what to say," I mumbled in intimidation, breathing in the freezing fall air, smelling the sweet wisps of cigar smoke. I gazed around the cemetery numbly before locking eyes with the hooded figure. "Come with me," it said, walking off before I could get up.

I hopped up and hurried after the figure as it sped out of the cemetery, turning corner after corner until it finally stopped in front of a Krispy Kreme. It appears this was the intended destination.

“No donuts for you, demon!”, I bellowed as I loaded my crossbow. I sprinkled some pickled wolfsbane tincture on the bolt, then took aim and fired. But I was too bold, too cocky, and I was sad to see

How the demon was eating everything I fired him with. So I thought, “maybe an explosive donut will do the trick” So I took a nearby box of sweets and I took a chocolate glazed donut, filled it up with some tnt powder and some cream. I aimed with my heart and fired >—————->🍩

"I prefer croissants," the demon burped, then froze. "What the heaven?" he said, eyes opening in panic. "You tricked m—" He never finished his words, because he exploded in a ball of fire and food. I dived under a picnic table as flames and gore painted the walls of the kitchen.

The mage entered, his figure stately, and he gave me a slow clap. “Clever,” he remarked. “Brimstone in the batter, hmm?” I nodded. “You have quite a gift,” he said. “I may have a job for you.” I crawled out from under the table. “I don’t come cheap,” I said. The mage beckoned.